What is a bigger waste of time: Surfing the internet or keeping track of what each individual surfs on the internet?
Tucked quietly away in Section 4 of H.R. 1981, a provision lurks that turns what should have been a no-brainer bill both parties could agree on into a way to track every U.S. internet users’ activity for the last 18 months. And despite the recent spree of data breaches in the both the public and private sectors, subsection (b) amusingly calls for this data to be stored securely.
No worries if you don’t have anything to hide? You are five steps from having something to hide:
1. Pick any of your social/political/religious beliefs.
2. Note that there are people out there who think you are wrong.
3. Consider the odds those people could attain a position of power in your life (family, boss, police, government).
4. Image those people getting really pushy about things they don’t like.
5. Go visit a website about your belief.
We all have a reason to hide if the wrong people are looking. And why stop with internet activity? Storage is cheap, let’s make the phone company record every conversation. While we’re at it, you’re probably sitting in front of a video camera reading these very words. Mind if we record your expression for posterity?
Say cheese. Then go tell your representative this bill takes one giant leap too far.
Welcome to the 2015 Ape Con Myth Live Redesign, Enjoy our Dust!